Boobs! The cause and reason for all of mans motivations and disappointments. They are everywhere, present in pair of twos. You would not know a person but you would be aware of their assets. It’s an outrage it’s a crime to have these distractions around us. You want them, you want them all your life and when you get them you have no fucking idea what to do with them. No, this is not because of lack of talent on your part, it is because of the limited utility it has. They are overrated, every man who has ever has had access to a pair knows that but we still don’t learn. Boobs have been, are and will be a lesson we would never learn.
One of the possible reasons of our failure to recall the overrated nature of this beautiful creation of god is our perpetual handicap of limited blood supply. Not a reason one would think I would be progressing with but there is a reason of our inability to think straight when presented with an attractive specimen. We have been provided with only enough blood to make a single important organ of our body function at a given time, i.e. either our brain or our penis. There is only enough blood for one organ. Think about it, it would make sense to you – unless of course your blood is at the wrong end right now.
And then comes the great debate, the point of internal conflict, the failure of all senses and utter silence. Then comes the innocent little topless message. Someone decides to tell you that their assets are revealed to the world but leaves the intricate details for your imagination to fathom. Your imagination gets down to its dirty little job – hell when it can undress women for you when they are wearing clothes it can sure as hell construct one whose body knows nothing but freedom, to be assembled in your head. There is the little light bulb of idea which flashes on in your head at which point you realize, “Holy shit, these two are off limits. Switch off that light god dammit!” There comes the war within, the battle for the control of the bulb’s switch. There is a conflict between the brain and the penis, each wanting its share of blood. The heart doesn’t know which direction to pump and eventually it goes no where. This is a split second process which results in dilated pupils, a hung open mouth, a lag in the thought process and the complete absence of your presence. You are a soul lost in purgatory for you forbid yourself the pleasures of heaven and are terrified by the prospects of hell. However, since these are boobs you are utterly confused and are completely unaware of which is what. Is heaven where you see atop divine clouds a pair of perfect melons or do they belong in the spiteful fire of hell where just the mere thought of them would mark your doom?
This is the enchanting effect boobs have on us and us men being men have no idea what to do with them. We want them but then we don’t, we get them and then we are bored. However, we still want them once they are gone and the cycle continues till we are old. We are men though, we still don’t care. We pop a little blue pill and hobble for more.
